


Hey, Pig

by realcasually



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Gen, Humanstuck, I don't know what other tags to add, Mentions of self-harm, Nine Inch Nails, Piggy - Freeform, Songfic, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realcasually/pseuds/realcasually
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat reflects on his life and the people he's let into it as the tenth anniversary of his father's death draws near.</p><p>A songfic; song used is Piggy, by Nine Inch Nails. Listen to it while you read!</p><p>Rated Mature for mentions of self-harm and some bad language. There isn't much, though, but you gotta be careful with these things, I suppose</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey, Pig

{hey, pig}

Karkat Vantas walked through the cool night air, head tilted upwards as he absentmindedly took in the view.

{yeah, you}

 _Almost ten years to the day,_ he thought to himself. _Feels like longer._

{hey pig piggy pig pig pig}

Tomorrow night was the anniversary. He normally didn’t let his mind dwell on it, focused on pushing through life as he had it, but drawing so close to that milestone weighed on his memory.

{all of my fears came true}

Tomorrow night was the night that the Vantas boys had officially been orphaned.

{Black and blue and broken bones}

He’d only been six, Kankri nine, when their father had lost the struggle with leukaemia. For the elder brother, that had been the final push he needed to continue his father’s work, to devote himself to the spread of equality and social justice.

For Karkat, that had been right about when everything went to hell.

{you left me here, i’m all alone}

It wasn’t that he didn’t LIKE his new surrogate family; indeed, he was glad it had been the Maryams that he’d gone to, that had raised him.

But even they couldn’t fix this.

{my little piggy needed something new}

A few years later, the cutting started.

He’d been in and out of hospitals his whole childhood, the disease lurking in his blood making it hell for him to try and forge friendships. Nobody wanted to be friends with the kid who bruised at the slightest knock and bled for hours. The fact that his father died in a hospital only set in stone his abject phobia of the places.

But the visits slowed and stopped altogether in time, and Karkat Vantas was left alone with his rage to boil and bubble and **_break._**

{nothing can stop me now cause i don’t care anymore}

He was 13 when his father’s old Swiss Army Knife first broke the skin of his wrist.

{nothing can stop me now cause i don’t care}

Of course, they found out. He was careless, still learning, still unsure. The looks on their faces as they burst in; Kanaya’s dumbfounded shock, Kankri’s heartbroken disappointment and Porrim’s resigned concern; they were all still fresh in his mind’s eye as the day it happened.

With wounds that kept bleeding, of course it was risky, but he’d found a way to cope, a way to get back at it all. At the world for taking his father away and at his father for daring to let it.

So he continued in secret.

{hey, pig, nothing’s turning out the way i planned}

A new face came into view soon, through the haze of day-to-day. A girl. THE girl; Terezi Pyrope. How ironic that the blind girl, the synaesthesiac whose broken eyes were replaced a nose that could sniff out all the shades of the rainbow, could see him best of all. Could **_understand._**

Perhaps it was because they were both broken.

{hey, pig, there’s a lot of things i hoped you could help me understand}

Outside of the trip down memory lane, he had made his way to the florist, buying a bouquet of a bunch of flowers. He knew they probably had some special meaning and it was probably the wrong one, but there was a whole lot of red in it and his dad liked red.

He’d call Kankri tomorrow, and they’d go to the grave together. Family reunion.

{what am i supposed to do?}

The outlet on his wrist was all but closed now: Terezi had made sure of that. She’d healed him, apart from a relapse now and then when things got bad. But nobody’s perfect. Especially not Karkat Vantas.

{i lost my shit because of you}

But for his girlfriend, his brother, his surrogate sisters and the father he didn’t have anymore, the father that was part of him both in the von Willebrand’s disease that tainted his blood and his refusal to give in to it in the end, the father that he both loved and resented for everything and nothing and who he’d really like back even for just five minutes, but it’s not like that would happen.

For all the people the angry little boy alone in the corner had let into his life…

He’d do.

{nothing can stop me now cause i don’t care anymore}

He’d do just fine.

{nothing can stop me now cause i just don’t care}


End file.
